Tales of Padodia: Ocarina of Corns
by Abner22
Summary: Tales of Parodia: Ocarina of Corns is a new story in the Tales of Parodia series. It's a direct Sequel to The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker and goes about the same Link wich meets Navi again and travels with him to a new island called The Land of Toaku
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Link Sets off

* * *

**

_Link is sailing away from Outset Island on the King of Red Lions, the pirate ship next to them._

**Link: **Well, that was the end of another Zelda game, I'm glad it's all over.

**Dahpnes: **What are you complaining about? You only did 5 small dungeons!

**Link: **6!

**Dahpnes: **5, that Blue Pearl doesn't count, you got that for free!

**Link: **It sure was a short adventure. A little rushed, but you've got deadlines and stuff y'know, and the fans of course.

**Dahpnes: **Don't remind me, the sea is too boring, I'm too boring "We want Epona, we want Epona" I mean, how do you roam a sea with a horse? And did you ever see Epona talk? No, it's just an ordinary horse, no wings, horns or fire-tails, just an ordinary horse. I mean: A talking boat, where do you see that?

**Link: **Yeah, and then me! I'm too childish for them, well if they want that hunky adult Link from Ocarina of Time, just don't buy this game!

**Dahpnes: **Well, he sure was cool...How was it to be him?

**Link: **Well actually I can't remember that well. It was a few lives ago that I was him, but I do remember it was hard, saving the world and stuff, and fight a giant pig

**Dahpnes: **By the way, did you ever hear anything about Ganon after he got sealed away in the Realm?

**Link: **He got 8 years, but it was reduced to 4 because of good behaviour.

**Dahpnes: **4 years?

**Link: **After that I sometimes saw him by the pharmacy. One time I heard him talking about a flood, so I flew to the forest.

**Dahpnes: **I thought you went searching for Navi?

**Link: **Ha! For that piece of flying crap? What do YOU think!

_Flashback - with Navi following Link screaming: "Hey! Listen!" "Link!" and Link screaming back "SHUT UP!"_

**Link: **I swear it, from all the things I've done, every monster I've defeated, every country I've traveled through, the worst part of my journey was HIM!

**Dahpnes: **But the game says...

**Link: **_(sigh) _Ninty want to keep their family reputation.

**Dahpnes: **So did you find Navi?

**Link: **No. He found me!

**Dahpnes: **But if you found each other, how did you die?

**Link: **Well...

_You see a thought-balloon where Link holds a gun against his head while Navi is screaming "Hey!" "Listen!"_

**Link: **Hey aren't you supposed to be dead! _(change's subject while having a sweat-droplet on his head)_

**Dahpnes: **What?

**Link: **Back then, under the water? You were talking about us living for the future

**Dahpnes: **Oh that, no that was for dramatic effect.

**Link: **Haha, so you...

**Dahpnes: **_(Interrupts Link) _Link! Look out!

_Link looks forward and sees Windfall Island before his nose, he tries to stop but he crashes on the 2 meter long beach of Windfall Island._

**Link: **Hehehe _(brushes his hand through his hair, along with a sweat-droplet on his head)_

Dahpnes: You're the worst

* * *

_Story: Abner_

_Spelling Control: Adhamh_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Bandam troubles

* * *

**

_Link walks into the potion shop of Doc Bandam, while he's searching in his wallet_

**Bandam: **Hello, hello and hello again. This is the one and only chu juice jelly shop!

**Link: **Riiiight. One fairy please.

**Bandam: **This is 100 Chu Jelly!

**Link: **_(raises eyebrows)..._one fairy please

**Bandam: **You ask what Chu Jelly is my young friend?

**Link: **No, I asked for a fairy.

**Bandam: **Chu Jelly is the most...

**Link: **Ok ok... I get it - give me some of that red stuff.

**Bandam: **That would be 10 rupees

**Link: **Here you go. _(looks irritated)_

**Bandam: **Ok, give me the empty bottle and...

**Link: **Empty bottle?

**Bandam: **Yes, to put the potion in

**Link: **I know what bottles are for.

**Bandam: **So what's the problem?

**Link: **_(Laughs with sarcasm) _Ok, let's get this straight, because maybe I misunderstood you or something. I paid 10 rupees for the red potion, am I right?

**Bandam: **100 Chu Juice Jelly! (smile)

**Link: **You're really annoying me (Holds his teeth on each other)

**Bandam: **smiles

**Link: **Where was I?

**Bandam: **The potion part

**Link: **Yes, I pay 10 rupees for the red potion

**Bandam: **100 chu...

**Link: **Shut up! _(Continues story calm) _And I have to bring my own bottle with me?

**Bandam: **You got a problem with that?

**Link: **A problem! Do you bring your own bottle if you buy Coca Cola!

**Bandam: **These are hard times you know. This Ganon is causing all kinds of problems

**Link: **You're saying its hard to get an empty bottle?

**Bandam: **Uh-huh

**Link: **An EMPTY bottle?

**Bandam: **It's harder than you think!

**Link: **You've got dozens lying behind you!

**Bandam: **_(turns around) _oh those ones. I could give you one.

**Link: **Hurry up, I'll be glad when this is over!

**Bandam: **That comes out to...20 rupees.

**Link: **What?

**Bandam: **20 rupees.

**Link: **Do you think that money grows on my back?

**Bandam: **I'm Sorry! You pick it out of bushes! I am WORKING for my money

**Link: **WORKING? I JUST SAVED THE WORLD!

**Bandam: **So?

**Link: **Grrr.. So that's your thanks? Man, in Hyrule I at least got credit!

**Bandam: **I hate types like you. Thinking they're all that, just because they're a celebrity

**Link: **Well...I know places where I can get this stuff for free!

**Science guy: **Well, then what are you doing here?

**Link: **I know people! I will get your shop ruined!

**Science: **Fine!

**Link: **Fine!

_Link walks angrily through the Windfall gate. Tetra is standing against the wall waiting for Link._

**Link: **Come on, we're going to a fairy fountain

**Tetra: **What's your problem?

**Link: **_(jumps into boat) _come on Dahpnes, to the south!

**Dahpnes: **Where are we going?

**Link: **Fairy Fountain.

**Dahpnes: **No I mean, what's our destination?

**Link: **Eh, I don't know. Tetra where are we going?

**Tetra: **The so-called Land of Toaku.

**Dahpnes: **What, that's that magic world!

**Tetra: **Yeah.

**Dahpnes: **That's miles away from here!

**Tetra: **It isn't that far.

_A sign appears saying: Land of Toaku 1000 Miles_

**Tetra: **1000 miles, that can't be true

_A Sign on top of the other Sign Appears saying: Did I say 1000? I mean 5000_

**Tetra: **Eh?

_Another Sign on top of the other Sign appears saying: You must be nuts to cross this by boat_

**Tetra: **Who made this stupid signs anyway? _(crushes them)_

**Dahpnes: **Link, good luck. I'm sure you can stay with the pirates.

**Link: **What do you mean? We're supposed to be on an_...(Dahpnes sails away with incredibly speed)..._adventure...sigh

* * *

_Story: Abner_

_Spelling Control: Adhamh_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Navi's Return

* * *

**

_In the fairy-fountain, you see Navi lying in the pool with the girl fairy's from The Wind Waker._

**Navi: **So there I lay, on the ground, the destroyed castle of Ganon in the background. But I knew this wasn't over, I heard a sound. Stones were moving and a hand rose up through remains of the castle. It was Ganon... "This fight is not over Navi.. I will get you for this " He screamed at me.

**Girl Fairy: **What did you do?

**Navi: **I looked into Links eyes: "You must defeat him Navi, Hyrule lies in your hands" he said. I lost my view on Ganondorf, a stupid mistake. He hit me from behind and stood on me

**Girl Fairy's: **Ooooh! _(Holds hands over their mouths)_

**Navi: **All my energy was pumped out of my body. But then I thought of all the people in Hyrule who believed in me. The Deku Tree, Zelda and Link. I got all my energy together and flipped the guy over!

**Girl Fairy: **You flipped him over?

**Navi: **Yes, so there he lay, on the ground. I tried to get some air, when I heard a scream. "Navi, here's the Mastersword, deliver the final blow!" screamed Zelda while she handed the Master Sword over to me. So I grabbed it, and with all the power I had, smashed the Master Sword in Ganon's vile Pig head!

_Link stands with his shoulder against the wall_

**Link: **You got the Master Sword from Zelda? How did you carry it? With your little wings?

**Navi: **_(Laughs nervously) _Eh...

**Link: **You're sure the story happened that way?

_Girl Fairy's are looking with their eyebrows up_

**Navi: **Girls! You don't believe this guy do you?

_Girl Fairy gets to Navi and slaps him in the face_

**Girl Fairy: **You dirty liar

_The Girl Fairy flies with her head up into the bottle Link just opened making a "hmpf" sound. Link gets the bottle in his pocket._

**Navi: **YOU don't believe them eh girls? Mary? Tinkerbell?

_The other fairies fly into the fountain while having their head up making the "hmpf" sound._

**Navi: **What's your problem? Screwing up my...wait a minute, I know you!

**Link: **_(gets a sweat-drop on his head getting nervous)_ hahaha. I have a familiar face you know. hahahah _(brushes his hand through his hair)_

**Navi: **That costume, that hair… You remind me of someone…

**Link's thoughts: **How did that son of a survive hundreds of years? I have to get out of here before he recognizes me!

**Navi: **Wait a minute - I know it!

**Link's thoughts: **NO! NO NO NO!

**Navi: **Percy Sledge!

**Link: **Eh?

**Navi: **Like twins! You look just like Percy Sledge! Please sing a song for me!

**Link: **_sings - _When a ma-han loves a wo-man! _(Holds his eyebrows down)_

**Navi: **Hahaha exactly!

**Link: **Hahaha

**Link's thoughts: **Man that was close!

**Link: **Well I have to go. See you later!

_Tetra is sitting bored on the pirate boat, Link jumps on deck_

**Tetra: **Man, what was taking you so long?

**Link: **Eh… business

**Tetra: **Business?

**Link: **Come on, let's head to the land of Toaku.

_Link is relaxing on the deck, out of nowhere, Navi shows up._

**Navi: **Hi!

**Link: **NAVI!

**Navi: **How do you know my name?

**Link: **Eh? You told me?

**Navi: **Hmm... You forgot your sword, its a pretty one I must say.

_Link grabs the mastersword fast and hides it behind his back and starts laughing nervous again_

**Link: **Thanks!

**Navi: **It seems so familiar to me, that sword.

**Link's thoughts: **You told a story about it 2 minutes ago you retarded dumbass!

_Niko shows up behind Link's back_

**Niko: **It isn't a normal sword either…

**Link: **Niko!

**Navi: **No?

**Niko: **Uh-huh. It's...

**Link's thoughts: **NO

**Niko: **...the...

**Link's thoughts: **OH NO

_Niko holds his finger in the air, but just in time Link holds his hand over Niko's mouth_

**Link: **Niko!

**Navi: **Niko?

**Link: **Yes, the Niko sword! _(Laughs nervously) _Never heard of it? The legendary Niko Sword?

_Niko pushes Link's hands of him and looks angry_

**Navi: **So you're a fighter?

**Link: **Yes. A fighter in...My spare time!

**Navi: **Well you look like a wimp.

**Link's thoughts: **You annoying flying piece of...(#$!

**Niko: **A wimp? Do you even know who you're talking to?

**Navi: **Hm?

**Link: **Niko! Why don't you go play a game or something?

**Niko: **Don't be shy, people may know you saved the world.

**Navi: **You saved the world?

**Niko: **Well, actually twice

**Link: **_(talking with his teeth together)_ quit it you little rat

**Niko: **Cause he is the one and only hero...

_Link's pupils become gigantic_

**Niko: **...of winds!

**Link: **...

**Navi: **Never heard of it

**Link: **Phooey!

**Niko: **...and the Hero of Time!

**Link: **NOOOO _(starts crying)_

**Navi: **What?

**Link: **No he's just joking! Ha-ha-ha! You crazy Niko, always fooling around! It isnt april fools you know.. _(laughs nervous)_

**Navi: **Link! It's you! It's been so long ago! 2 lives to be exact!

**Link: **_(cries)_

**Navi: **Oh I've got so many things to tell you

_Ship is shown sailing to the Horizon, while Navi keeps talking_

**Navi: **Remember that time I told you to defeat Ganondorf while holding your Mirror Shield? Hahaha! The look on your face – priceless! And that time that...

**Link: **NOOOO!

_Screen fades out

* * *

_

Story: Abner

Spelling Control: Adhamh


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The Little Imp

* * *

**

_Link is behind the wheel of the ship, very annoyed with Navi, having his large eyebrows down and his teeth together_

**Navi: **...So I was a little bored, but I saw something fun hanging on the ceiling, so I start playing with it a little bit, not knowing it was this guys tail! So he starts freaking out at me in Turkish or something! So I try to relax him with a little story about myself, but he became even angrier: "I am the mighty Volaa! Blabla"

**Link: **Valoo?

**Navi: **Yes that was his name.

**Link: **That's a fucking God you moron!

**Navi: **God or not, he really should control his temper. He should learn a thing or two from the Deku Tree. Yeah the Deku Tree never yelled at me. And he spoke normal Hylian. That broken Turkish from that friggin' reptile seemed...

**Link: **Enough!

**Navi: **eh?

**Link: **Just...keep your mouth shut, ok?

**Navi: **_(flies circles from boredom)..._so where are we going?

**Link: **The Land of Toaku

**Navi: **Oooh...ok

**Link: **...

**Navi: **...

**Link: **What is it? No boring story about your adventures in Toaku? No stories about what kind of food reminds you of the word Toaku and how bad it was?

**Navi: **No, of course not. You're thinking about me the wrong way. I know when I have to be quiet and when not, and there are enough people who agree with me. I mean, you aren't a fine company to travel with either, you never talk! And then blaming the fans! "Yeah they don't want me to talk, because they can imagine being me" Bulshit! I didn't say more than "Listen!" and "Hey" too with that stupid N64 Capabilities! They should imagine being me! Phooey... Imagine!

**Link: **Please for one second... (prays and looks up in the air)

**Navi: **Imagine… hmm, I know an artist called Mellon having a song about this...whistles Imagine from John Lennon

**Link: **_(looks irritated)_

**Navi: **Soooooooooo...are we almost there?

**Link: **No

**Navi: **Are we there now?

**Link: **No

**Navi: **Are we there NOW?

**Link: **No

**Navi: **Are we there_... (looks on watch)..._ting...now?

**Link: **Noooope

**Navi: **Are we there...

**Link: **SHUT UP! SHUT...UP! CANT YOU JUST FOR ONE MINUTE SHUT UP? ONE SILLY MINUTE? JUST SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUUUP! _(Tries to get some breath)_

**Navi: **Ok, so you want it that way.. Fine with me, you wont hear me anymore

**Link: **Finally

_Navi starts wizzling Imagine from John Lennon again_

**Link: **_(looks very, very irritated)_

**Navi: **YOU MAY SAY I'M A DREAMER!

**Link: **AAAWH! _(Gets Navi in his hands and flattens him)_

**Navi: **AAWH!

_While Navi and Link are fighting, the pirates are watching the whole thing on the other side of the boat._

**Gonzo: **Whe have to get rid of this...this thing

**Tetra: **You're right, but how? This little curse follows us everywhere.

**Niko: **We have to make him cold.

**Gonzo: **How? That son of a had survived hundreds of years, whe can't hang him up or something, he's like an eel

**Tetra: **You're right, but as long as we have Link with us, he will follow us everywhere

_All the pirates rub their hands together and smile suspiciously_

**Tetra: **No! No! I know what you're thinking! You see what this little imp is doing to us!

**Gonzo: **It is me, or he! But I'm not staying for another 5 minutes with that guy!

**Tetra: **Point 1, do you have the balls to attack Link after he saved our butts? And even if you want to attack him, he's the friggin' Hero of Winds! How do you expect to win a fight with the holder of the master sword!

**Gonzo: **_(is already in the launch, ready to sail away) _Then it's gonna be me!

_The other male pirates look at each other and hold their hands trough their hair_

**Niko: **Gonzo, wait for me! (Jumps in the launch with the other pirates)

**Tetra**_(still stands on deck) _what are you guys doing, we can't leave our ship! All of our treasure is below deck, and the ship itself cost millions!

**Gonzo: **Have it your way, Miss Tetra, and have fun with the fairy

_Tetra turns around and looks at Navi_

**Navi: **Sooo… Are we almost there?

**Tetra: **Wait for me! _(Jumps in the launch too)_

_Link Sees Tetra and the pirates sailing away in the Launch and runs to the back of the ship_

**Link: **Where are you going?

**Niko: **Where do you think?

**Link: **No, take me with you! You can't leave me behind with him!

**Tetra: **Sorry kid, if we take you with us, he'll follow.

**Link: **Grrr...I'll get you for this Tetra!

**Gonzo: **Have fun!

_Link looks around at Navi, who is controlling the ship by moving the wheel with his head_

**Navi: **Where did you went so fast? Flatulence problems?

**Link: **Dear goddess of time, why I ask you! WHY?

_Screen fades out

* * *

_

Story: Abner

Spelling Control: Adhamh


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Two Years of Travel**

**

* * *

**

**Logbook Day 1: **This is the first day after we left Outset Island, Dahpnes and the pirates fled, so now I'm stuck here with Navi. I don't know how much more of him I can take.

**Logbook Day 2: **Today I tried to kill Navi by setting him on fire with one of my Fire Arrows. It was fun to see something that's normally a blue ball of light change into a fireball! He isn't dead, but it gave me some satisfaction for a few days.

**Logbook Day 3: **A beautiful day it is, the sun is smiling and shines on Navi's scars. It'll be a long time before we reach Toaku, but I'm trying to make the best of it.

**Logbook Day 4: **As beautiful as the weather was yesterday, it was stormy today. Waves as big as Tidal waves, but whe did survived it. I'm very tired now, so I'm going to bed

**Logbook Day 5: **The sun is shining again, so...NAVI! GIVE IT BACK!

_You see Link sitting behind the desk in Tetras room. Navi is flying away with a paper_

**Navi: **" Oh dear diary, I'm so in love with Tetra...Hahaha"

**Link: **Give it here you little imp!

_Navi flies away. Link opens the door to deck and runs through it. When he's on the deck Navi is gone. Link is breathing hard with his teeth together, out of nowhere a Rito postman lands behind Link, with one eyebrow raised._

**Hari: **Mr. Link?

**Link: **Oh hi. Hahaha

**Hari: **Something wrong?

**Link: **Hahaha, no nothing _(laughs nervous)_

**Hari: **Okeee, well I've got a letter for you from Mr. Miyamoto

**Link: **Oh crap _(gets letter and opens it)_

**Letter: **Mr Link, thank you for working with us for almost 15 years. We're very happy with the work you delivered during the project The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. And we wish to continue this cel-shaded style. That seems to be more suiting for the Zelda series. At the moment we're busy writing a script for the upcoming Zelda game for the DS: The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. It will be a direct sequel to The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. In this game where going to use the capabilities of the touch screen for editing new functions to your famous items. And you will have your fairy back.

**Link's thoughts: **Fairy back. Fairy back. Fairy back.

**Link: **I'm sorry _(throws letter over board)_

**Navi: **What was that?

**Link: **Commercials.

**Logbook Day 591: **Almost 2 years have past since we left Outset Island, I've grown a little older and I can even produce sperm now! Still, I hope it's not gonna take much longer, as I'm getting pretty bored.

_You see Link behind the wheel of the ship, trying to stay awake._

**Navi: **LINK! _(Link is blowing away from the wheel)_

**Link: **Navi...

**Navi: **I'm bored

**Link: **...

**Navi: **Are you ignoring me?

**Link: **...

**Navi: **Very funny Link, very funny...Blablabla...

**Link's thoughts: **Just keep your mouth shut Link, just a little longer, he wants you to become angry but you're as peaceful as a flower, just don't say anything. He can't talk forever

_You see the sun switching with the moon several times, while Navi continues talking_

**Navi: **...so why you possibly think that you...LAND!

**Link: **What?

**Navi: **LAND, OVER THERE!

_Link looks to the right seeing a sign saying "Land of Toaku"_

**Link: **YAHOOO! OTHER PEOPLE! FINALLY!

**Navi: **Yahoo!

**Link: **Oh Navi I'm so glad, I could hug you!

**Navi: **...(_hold wings up from happiness)_

**Link: **... what do think of yourself, pathetic creature

**Navi:**..._ (hold wings down from sadness)_

**Link: **_(Jump's on shore) _At last! After all those years: The Land of Toaku

_Island is showed from above, screen fades out

* * *

_

Story: Abner

Spelling Control: Adhamh


End file.
